1. The most lethal of all the psychiatric disorders.
   
2. Preventable in most instances when parents recognize early signs and resist the urge not to speak up about what they see.
   
3. Curable in 80% of cases where parents remain active participants in the healing process through an appropriate, intelligent, and effective use of self, by speaking out. 
   

When parents fail to speak out around the kitchen table or family bathroom where signs speak louder than words, too many young lives are compromised and lost, too many families are torn apart.

• When agendas involve losing weight, or seeking ways to demonstrate self-discipline and self-control to themselves and others, this can be a sign of trouble and an early sign of an eating disorder in the making. 
  
• The healthy vegetarian must be prepared to make a commitment to become learned enough to feed her own body healthfully, adequately, and consistently, even while preserving the lives of other living things; the commitment involves time and effort in food planning, cooking, and realistic self-care.
  
• Chances are that these same children are picky, perfectionist and overly rigid and restrictive in other life spheres beyond eating, putting them at risk to develop the attitude, psyche and behaviors of eating disorders.  Vegetarianism too often is a politically incorrect camouflage masking the emotional forces that may underlie the eating lifestyle choice...anxiety, depression, fears and powerlessness.
  

Vegetarianism is a form of food restriction.  In my professional experience with hundreds of young people over the years, it is a rare child who takes full responsibility for education about the nutritional needs of the body and for personal self-care.   In addition, most of their parents are in the dark about what this preference might mean, and how to shop and cook for their child accordingly.  
 

Eating Disorder or Food Preference; Making the Distinction
I believe that parents tend to err on the side of extremes (indifference or over-control) when they observe poor eating habits or quirky eating behaviors in their children. How does a parent know if a behavior is merely a benign quirk or the start of a serious illness?
 
Eating disorders are the most lethal of all the mental health disorders. 87% of victims are children under age 20, with increasing numbers under the age of nine.   When parents recognize early warning signs of disease in the making, when they know when to be concerned and ask for professional help, they can nip problems in the bud, saving their child from deep suffering and even death.
 
Three signs that your child may be in trouble;
1. There is anxiety, compulsivity, inflexiblility associated with the child's misuse of food.
2. There are emotional problems in other spheres of behavior that may be reflective of similar attitudes.
3. There are addictions or eating disorders in other members of the family.

The good news:  When eating problems are dealt with intelligently, sensitively, and with emotional astuteness at early ages, when proper eating habits are enforced and modeled, parents can eradicate an eating disorder in the making.

Figure Flaw Obsessions
Surely, you have heard about the damaging messages of the media that surround us, the statistics about fashion models being thinner than 98 percent of the American women and girls who view them, and the work of Anne Becker who did research on the Fiji Islands proving that when American television came on the scene in the South Pacific, a number of years ago, the rate of anorexia sky rocketed among viewers of the American sit-coms broadcasted. 
Why?  My sense is that eating and thinness has become a primary means by which the American public has learned to deal with, sublimate, or otherwise distract themselves from feelings of anxiety.  Why are females so anxious these days?   Increasingly, younger girls who reach puberty at earlier ages experience the conflict of the demands of nature v. those of society.  Society tells young women to grow smaller, even as they grow older and their bodies prepare to reproduce and carry on the species. 
 
Once grown, women become increasingly anxious about their weight because the more they diet, the less efficient function they get from their metabolisms, which slow down to a snails pace to help the body survive in the face of nutrient deprivation. Some food restrictors gain weight on eating minimal numbers of calories.


Create a Health Body Image in Your Child
Parental messages about body image are most profoundly positive when parents maintain a healthy emotional connection with their growing child, along with their own healthy attitude towards eating, and sense of their own body.
 
Parents must:

Early Childhood Eating Disorders:

“Eating disorders” in your tots ( 3 –6 year olds) are probably not eating disorders at all.
Picky eaters, compulsive overeaters, and food phobic kids are most likely NOT eating disordered in the sense that we have known these diseases. They are in most instances not victims of the anorexia and bulimia of later years that kill and maim, indicating poor self-esteem, lack of identity, ineffective problem solving, and body image disturbances. Young children are, however, at risk to develop these diseases if their conditions are not detected and handled early and skillfully.

Parents of young quirky eaters need to consult with their pediatrician to rule out organic or physical complications or causes. Next, they need to understand that the issues underling food related problems in young kids are not the same as those of teens and young adults, and as a result, need to be handled differently.

Quirkily eating youngsters are more likely to be the victims of negative role modeling…missing consistent, regular, balanced and home-cooked meals provided by and eaten with loving family members. These youngsters are apt to be genetically prone to anxiety and compulsive temperaments. When youthful disordered eating is handled responsibly and effectively by parents in the early years however, they can be nipped in the bud, preventing the onset of eating disorders as we know them.


Effective Discipline Goes Hand in Hand with Healthy Eating:
The three keys to effective discipline, being firm, fair and consistent, happen to be the cornerstone of healthy eating and raising a child who is virtually immune to developing an eating disorder later in life.

As a psychotherapist of 32 years specializing in the treatment of eating disorders, I consistently see children afflicted with eating disorders at increasingly younger ages. It is no longer unusual to see kids as young as age five jogging in bedrooms or on playgrounds with the intention of losing weight, or otherwise demonstrating concern and fear about body image, body fat and food consumption. At the same time, the U.S. has never before seen as many overweight and obese children (11 million).

As a coach to parents, I suggest that it is never too early for them to teach kids healthy eating habits, attitudes, values and lifestyle rituals. It is my belief that if parents understand what truly healthy eating is, (not always an easy task), and if they can personally model a healthy eating and exercise lifestyle, consistently, firmly, without randomness or intention to control for the love of power, kids will grow up to be responsible and healthy eaters. Parents are obliged to expect and demand that children respect and honor their growing body's needs.


Fast and easy is hardly best when it comes to healthy eating for tots:
I can't help but think that the new trend in tot foods (fast and easy) is all too indicative of pervasive eating dysfunction in our society today. It is little wonder that American kids are becoming afflicted with eating disorders and obesity at increasingly younger ages. I believe that parental attitudes and behaviors around food preparation and eating are at the root of a young child's developing eating health.

My sense is that if you trace “convenience eating” back to its source, you will most probably find hurried parents who spend too much time away from home and their children, and far too little time valuing, creating and nurturing family connections through cooking, and eating meals together. Only 50% of American families eat dinner together.

Fast foods tend to have more fats; they also tend to be eaten on the run, without family participation. When parents are not there to cook and provide for kids who are left to fend for themselves, it's easy for everyone to lose track of what healthy eating is and what healthy bodies are. It is no wonder that studies have shown that 80 percent of girls by grade 3 to 6 experience body image concerns, and that 80 percent of girls by age 13 have dieted in an effort to contain the natural bodily changes brought on by puberty.


Children who reach puberty early are at risk to develop eating disorders.
With children reaching puberty at increasingly younger ages these days, it has become normal for girls who notice maturing bodily changes to begin feeling concern over what they see as "fat." (In one study, 80 percent of girls in grades 3 to 6 expressed unhappiness with their physical appearance.) This is a case of nature conflicting with nurture; just when girls are growing older and larger, society tells them that they should become smaller. Dieting and other forms of food restriction are the result; disordered eating and eating disorders follow, in too many cases.

This predicament puts girls from the ages of 9 to 12 at particular risk for the onset of eating disorders and dysfunction. It is critical for parents to be aware of this problem so that they can learn how to protect their child from these dangerous societal influences.


TV Dinners for Tots
I can't help but think that this new trend in tot foods (fast and easy) is all too indicative of pervasive eating dysfunction in our society today.  It is little wonder that American kids are becoming afflicted with eating disorders and obesity at increasingly younger ages.  I believe that parental attitudes and behaviors around food preparation and eating are at the root of a young child's developing eating health. 
 
My sense is that if you trace convenience eating back to its source, you will most probably find hurried parents who spend too much time away from home and their children, and far too little time valuing, creating and nurturing family connections through cooking, and eating meals together. 
 
Only 50% of American families eat dinner together.  Fast foods for kids is a sad foreshadowing of the continuation of statistics such as 80% of girls by grade 3 to 6 experience body image concerns, or that 80% of girls by age 13 have dieted in an effort to contain the natural bodily changes brought on by puberty. When parents are not there to provide for their kids and when kids are left to fend for themselves, it's easy to lose track of what healthy eating and healthy bodies are about.  
Who says holiday times are times to eat, drink and be merry?  It's no secret that lots of kids today are highly concerned about body image issues, diet and weight management.  By age 13, 80% of girls have been on diets.  Food and eating, the very heart of holiday celebration, has become a chief source of teen anxiety.


Fat Fears Create Stress in Young Children
80 percent of 3rd - 6th graders are reported to be dissatisfied with their body, shape, or size. By the time girls are 9 years old, 30 - 40 percent of them have been on diets.  The statistic jumps to 80 percent in girls who are ages 10 - 16. With girls reaching puberty at younger ages, it has become natural for youngsters under age 10 to grow increasingly concerned about bodily changes in a society that requires girls to grow thinner as they grow older. Most young girls do not realize that it is normal for pubescent girls to gain 20 percent of their weight in fat.

Stress Levels Rise in "Tweenies" (ages 6-12)
The effects of stress are never good and they come in various forms and at ever younger life stages.   By age 5, kids are showing signs of succumbing to stress-related eating disorders and disturbances of all kinds.  The average age of eating disorder onset used to be 13 - 17.  Today it is 9 - 12.  As youngsters reach puberty earlier and earlier, they are simply not equipped to understand what is happening to their changing body; at the same time, they are not immune to the unrelenting messages of the media, of peers, and of parents that they need to grow smaller even as they grow older.  We are a weight-conscious, thin-is-in world.
 
I appeared this year on the Oprah Winfrey Show as an expert on childhood eating stress; this show featured a child who at age five ran compulsively around the school playground during recess to burn off calories.  Another child who was featured on this show ran around her bedroom compulsively to keep her weight down.  In one study, young people were reported to proclaim that they were more frightened of becoming fat than of losing their parents, of a nuclear holocaust or of getting cancer. 
 
Weight concerns in young kids are both imposed by external forces, and triggered by internal ones (inherited tendencies, temperament, anxiety, depression, etc.) Food, eating and body image concerns are becoming a common pathway for the expression of mounting undifferentiated stress in a child's life, whether it be around weight management, self-control, or wider concerns about divorcing or ill parents.   On a more optimistic note, food and eating also provide a means to assess and remedy a child's problems in the making before they become a negative life force.
 
www.empoweredkidZ.com is designed especially for kids, ages 7 - 17, who feel concerned or who have questions about body image, weight management and healthy eating.  It is a hands on, interactive, kid-friendly site that provides a healthy alternative to the dangerous pro-anorexic web sites that currently proliferate on the Web.

Eating Disorders in the Schools:

Will I Make New Friends and Be Accepted? Back to School Fears:
It's back to school time and what girls are most concerned about, whether freshmen or seniors, starting new or about to graduate, is whether they will be accepted and find friendship.

Seeking acceptance is one of the risk factors for body image concerns and dieting, which in turn, is a prime risk factor for developing an eating disorder. An eating disorder expert who recently appeared on the Oprah Show, I am a psychotherapist specializing in work with adolescents, and the author of When Your Child Has an Eating Disorder. I have worked with literally hundreds of girls over these past 3 decades. I have even created a web site just for kids and teens called www.empoweredkidZ.com.

Here are seven tips that work for junior high and high school students, particularly when they find themselves newcomers to small gatherings of peers.

1. Relax and be yourself. Know that you are not the only one who may feel somewhat insecure and eager to be loved.

2. Be a good listener. Everyone wants to be heard and people really appreciate someone who really hears what they have to say. You needn't feel compelled to speak first or speak most.

3. Have you experienced similar situations to what others describe? Offer your own experiences and what has worked for you.

4. Ask questions. Asking questions can help the speaker know herself more fully. It shows that you really care about what she is saying.

5. Be informative, be substantive. When you first become acquainted with prospective new friends, individually or in groups, ask yourself whether the information you are giving is the essence, the nub of what you really want to communicate. Are the others learning about you what you want them to know?

6. Be positive as you first speak about yourself. There will be time to share your deepest thoughts, fears, intimacies. At the very get-go, you want others to recognize your strengths. Did you work this past summer? How about saying what you enjoyed about your job first, before complaining about how little you were paid or how long a commute it was to get there.

7. Be real. Many young girls do not recognize how really fun and interesting they are to others. Being real may result in others liking you even more than you may like yourself!!

I would also love to create a Q. and A. column for young girls about body image issues. Please see www.empoweredkidZ.com <http://www.empoweredkidZ.com> for samples of kids' letters and my responses. This is a service that could ultimately save girls' lives.


Know Your Facts and Know Your Opponent to Handle Bullies Successfully:
Handling bullies takes courage. Doing it successfully, however, takes understanding, of oneself, of the facts, and of the offender. Despite all the bravado, acting tough and acting out in an offensive manner is the sign of a person who feels inadequate and powerless. Though it isn't easy to use your head when your heart is breaking, your head is where your best answers lie.

Recognize that the person doing the teasing is ignorant as to what causes overweight, insensitive to your feelings, and probably an unhappy person. You might decide to educate that person by making it clear that:

Dieting and Food Restriction:

What is the best way to lose weight and keep it off?
I am of the belief that diets don't work, that the best way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat a lot of the right foods, foods that are nutritious and varied, and to eat them regularly at mealtimes, thus keeping the metabolism working efficiently to burn fat and provide energy naturally and healthfully.

This is such a simple, yet such an important and little known message. Healthy eating is the most effective way to lose weight. Healthy eating is the way to stay fit and to feel good. Like the visitors to Oz, the information we seek lies readily accessible to us all, within easy reach if we can only learn how to avail ourselves of a healthy eating lifestyle.


The Ultimate Weight Loss Prescription
I believe there is one "best" way to lose weight effectively and to keep it off.  It is in some ways uniquely individualized for each person... based on a person's food preferences, and the sports they enjoy.  Yet there is nothing new or special or revolutionary to learn.  In fact, the challenge for us is returning to the intelligence of our instincts, to the age-old principles that we have always known, yet may have put aside or forgotten in our efforts to be always thinner and better and to live longer.  The trick to maintaining a healthy, fit and thin body is feeding a healthy metabolism.
 
This happens through healthy eating, a process that in some ways is self-obvious, yet at the same time, elusive.  Healthy eating has little to do with dieting, food restriction, or extreme exercise regimes.  Healthy eating is moderate eating, balanced eating and regular eating.  It is eating that accompanies and is part of a healthy lifestyle of sleep and exercise, and that knows no extremes.  

The body is a machine that requires fuel on a regular basis to operate effectively. It needs protein for cell formation and growth and mental alertness, carbohydrates for energy, and fat for hormone production and neurological development in young people.


Dieting and food restriction of any sort (such as skipping meals, eliminiating certain food groups, etc.) is counterproductive in:

denying the body and brain what it needs in order to function well,

creating a palpable need to gorge as a natural response to starvation and deprivation,

and diminishing the healthy calorie burning function of the metabolism, slowing the metabolic function to the point where a person gains increasing amounts of weight on increasingly fewer calories.

Statistics show that children who diet have a greater tendency to become overweight adults. In addition, 95% of people who lose weigh through dieting regain their lost weight ,and then some, within 5 years after the diet.

• The best way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat lots of nutritious foods, including all the food groups, in the form of meals, and at least three meals a day.
  
• There are no "bad" foods, as long as what you eat is in moderation.
  
• Dieting and other firms of food restriction is the worst way to lose weight, and can lead to eating disorders and adult obesity.
  
• You don't have to be thin to be anorexic.
  
• Anorexia is preventable, and highly curable when recognized early a d treated effectively.
  

4. If you have a secret fear that your food fears and disordered eating patterns could one day become an eating disorder, there is no need to sit with your fears.  Ask for assistance at home, at school, in your doctor's office.  Nip that problem in the bud before it ever becomes of major concern.